July 13th, 2009 → 7:29 pm @ terry
We continue to pick up a few new accounts. Seems there are plenty of new players getting in the game. It’s sort of nice to have some new people to talk with and discuss their plans for their business future – and see if we can fit in to those plans.
As usual, we are pretty doggone good about trying to help our new clients impress their new clients. We accepted a handful of occupancy inspections and a couple of REO assignments and hit the road. It’s been a while since Vickie and I have done this but it was nice to get out for the day and make a little money doing it.
I went to great lengths to impress upon our new client what reality is in the area they were sending us. They said they realized all of these problems I brought to their attention and we agreed that a sincere effort was good enough. We encountered even more than I had passed on to our client: We had bumper-to-bumper traffic on the beach roads – that’s where all our assignments were; we encountered security guards that have memorized “I don’t work for the mortgage company, I work for the owner” (no sense in trying to explain that the mortgage company is an owner too). We finished the day with a pretty good score though. We found all the properties, made direct contact with two and was refused entrance on only one.
We also had two new experiences on the route. I noticed a body alongside one of the roads we were on and we made a stop to call the police; and later we almost walked right up on a drug arrest – at least five cops and we saw three other people in hand cuffs. Unfortunatly, none of this really seemed out of the ordinary.
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May 26th, 2009 → 7:50 pm @ terry
Gasoline is going up again. Postage is going up again. My water bill is up as is the electric bill. I stopped at a McDonalds the other day to take a short break and get a burger. While sitting in the booth relaxing for a few minutes before getting back on the road, I glanced at my register receipt and noticed that I was charged 50 cents for the pleasure of eating in the “dining room”. Yep, a surcharge for eating in!
With all the cheapskates and money squeezers I’ve experienced in the mortgage field services business, I really thought I was at the point where nothing would surprise me about how low some people will go for an extra nickle. As usual, a mortgage field services company broke through my numbed view of the business and really hit a new low.
We raised our rates shortly after meeting with our accountants in April.  I got a call today from the director of field services at one of our client companies. He wanted us to drop our prices back down to the previous rate. Here is the logic he presented: We are going to be in the area anyway working for the other companies.  Since we are going to be there anyway, we could afford to do his inspections for less!
My automated survival brain waves began creating visions of Ebenezer Scrooge and baked turkey. Surely, Ebenezer is an idol for this man. He is striving to be just like Ebenezer by squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, and making his barely paid employees work Christmas Eve in freezing-cold offices – in Florida!
Now here’s the funny part: I know he probably needs the discount so he can continue to make payments on the three automobiles valued over $60,000 each that are registered in his name; or make the mortgage payment on his personal residence assessed at $537,000; or buy more gasoline for his 38 foot sport fisherman boat he uses to entertain other tightwads.
I promised to consider his request if he could get the other companies to call me and say they will subsidize his business. I think that’s fair, don’t you?
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April 30th, 2009 → 8:18 pm @ terry
Selling your soul is more difficult today than say last year. With the economy in such poor shape, there are many, many more active soul traders trying to get a piece of the action at field services companies.
Fortunately, some field service companies have perfected the soul trading industry and have become one-stop, turn-key resources for all aspects of the soul trading business. Although they have made soul trading almost falling down simple, I wanted to help those that are still a little hesitant or lacking in direction. So here are some tips:
Commitment: This is probably the most important point to perfect so work on this as much as you can. You have got to be as much of a wimp as possible. Be as limp as a dish rag.  Be absolutely certain that you let it be known that you are a true pushover. If you are asked to travel two hours one way for one $4 inspection; impress them – tell them you was just planning a trip there anyway!
 Audition: Yes, it is indeed an audition. You have to perform to get this role as the most obedient and needy field rep they would ever hope to have. Leave your backbone at home. At this time in your career you don’t realize how much they will lie to you, but audition, baby. Try to win the liars’ contest. Try as hard as you may, you will never outdo them but you have to strive for perfection. You too may one day be a field service company vendor rep! Oh, sweet dreamer!
Posture: Not the “stand up straight” type of posture. What I’m talking about here is your mental attitude. If you have to, practice being humble and subservient in front of a mirror. It will really help if, while you are practicing, you hang your head a bit and never, never ever look up. If you make the mistake of making eye contact you’re a gonner. Walk around the room a bit mumbling “uhhh, okay”.
Self Worth: Pretend you are bird droppings splattered on the side walk. Practice, practice, practice. You have to be ready. You have to be in the right frame of mind so that there is absolutely no hesitation if you are asked to drive further, work for less, take a minimum of ten pictures, recheck properties you have never been to, overlook late payment or no payment at all, disobey “no trespassing signs”, and generally give the impression that you are, finally, the perfect field rep. The ideal rep they have been looking for ever since the rep you will be replacing signed on three days ago.
Sizzle: Yep, it still works: “Don’t sell the steak, sell the sizzle”! I know it probably sounds contradictory to everything else I’ve said but you’ve got to get this right too! Remember the bird droppings? Well, this kind of sizzle is more like from a dog – on a hot sidewalk – in August – with no breeze. Keep this vision in your head, especially when discussing coverage areas, counties, zones, zips – that kind of thing. Pretend you are standing before the parole board. Tell them anything they want to hear. Just be sure they understand that you need them more than anything in your life. Oops. Whatever comes after death too! You’re theirs for eternity!
Personal Qualifications: Boy, this one is real tricky. You have to be able to read and write to do this type of work, but make absolutely certain it appears that you only know how to read and write because your mother spent so much time with you. Even better, you could say you learned it in the state penitentiary. Darn. I messed up again.  They will probably want you to pay $95 for a background check so say “night school” instead of “penitentiary”.  That way they can pocket the whole $95.
The Clincher: Since these companies are always looking for new ways to get more for less, you can use it against them; throw out a clincher. What’s a clincher you say? Tell them that your spouse or your brother, sister, anybody – it doesn’t really matter, will be working with you doing the paper work or driving or something. If you think you can perfect a story, talk about this person’s sleeping problem: Can’t really sleep hardly any at all so he or she will be up all night uploading all of the free pictures for you. That, my friend, is a clincher! Even the devil himself loves a bargain.
I don’t anticipate you will experience any discrimination but if there is any hint at all, just go along with it. Pretend you don’t notice. If you’re old, like over thirty, tell them you’re twenty-nine and you love to drive, drive, drive. One of your life-long ambitions is to drive, drive, drive.
Remember this, these companies are in the business of safeguarding their bottom line and you are a totally useless necessity; a thorn in their side and as soon as they can outsource this service to India the better. For now, they have to have you while they are perfecting making the google earth pictures look more current.
Good luck.
P.S. I know some of you are aggravated with the technology thing. I am preparing a class that will teach you how to handle business when their company server is down and you have inspections due yesterday that were sent to you today. We’ll also cover incompatible versions of Windows and how to load mutiple releases of Java so all company programs will kind of work. Stuff like that. It’s going to be a blast and I’m sure you will get a lot out of it. I’ll post the start date as soon as the virus I got from that last company site is eradicated.
Oh, and one last thing. If things don’t work out and you don’t sell your soul on the first go-around, there’s still hope. There are plenty of 0ld-fashioned companies that are still in the stone age. They treat people like human beings, if you can believe that! It’s tough, but sometimes you just have to settle for less.
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